Akuroku Tales
by BleachedMerc
Summary: Two men: one's a traitor, the other represents the crown. With a mission to protect the kingdom and a missing princess of heart between them, the two find themselves on opposite sides. But things bloom on the battlefield. Contains Akuroku and Sokai.


Akuroku kneeled before his feudal lord and father, Sokai. Wearing full samurai regalia, his helm emblazoned with the face of a snarling Bomb. "What is thy bidding, my master?"

Sokai wearing a ceremonial kimono and one of those little hats on his head pointed over his shoulder and said "Rise, Akuroku. March towards yonder hills and lay siege to mine enemies. Rescue thou sister and mine daughter from the vile treasonous hands of her captors."

Akuroku stood to his full height, his red armor shining like a man-sized dragon, he put his hand on his samurai sword and nodded. "Far too easy."

With a flourish of his cape, Akuroku marched out the doors and down the steps and out into the courtyard where he found his men waiting for him. They all sat astride horses and nodded in turn towards their crown prince and lord commander, Akuroku.

Akuroku climbed upon his own steed, a jet black horse. Wordlessly, Akuroku galloped out of the courtyard, his band of merry men whooping and hollering behind him as they brandished their naginatas, kamas, and tessen above their heads.

For three days and a six nights, the men travelled the hills and plains at a steady gallop, the remaining days were spent resting their vocal cords and horses. They pillaged and maimed all along the countryside, ensuring that no other citizens of the kingdom might rebel against their lord Sokai. However, once, they stopped to help a fellow samurai, clad in bright pink armor retrieve a warhound from a tree.

"We would be honored if you would join us."

Hime hummed and hawed, tapping her chin astride a unicorn, the only one in the land. She declined and rode off back towards the capital.

The rest of Akuroku's men shrugged and they continued whooping and brandishing their naginatas, kamas and tessen above their heads.

Finally, the entourage found themselves facing a rickety bridge, a lone swordsman stood at the halfway point, brandishing a large club.

"Halt, boi." The bridgekeeper postulated provocatively, brandishing a glock. "Don'tchu know where this here bridge lead? Don'tchu know who I am? I ought to pop a cap in yo' disrespectful ass. Who you be?"

Akuroku raised a gloved hand to halt his men, dismounted his horse and strode across the bridge to meet the man barring their path. He then reached towards the bridgekeeper and pulled the weapon from his hand from six feet away. "If you only knew the power of the dark side. Obi-Wan never told you what happened to your father."

The bridgekeeper lowered his hands and shrugged, backing away. "Airite, cool. We cool. Nah, brah, we cool. Mad respect, Holmes. Mad respect. Peace bewitch you."

"You have learned much, young one." Akuroku muscled passed the bridgekeeper, who nearly fell off the bridge as there was little room for the two of them to maneuver. But then he followed Akuroku to the other side when he saw the entourage of men and horses proceed after their leader. Although the whooping and hollering was a little less enthusiastic this time around.

Finally, Akuroku and his following had made it to their destination. Expecting an elaborate fort or a well defended city, the group were surprised to find themselves in a flowery field of beautiful flowers, unobstructed by all but two figures standing in the center.

Akuroku rode out into the field of flowers before his horse tumbled and sent him careening down and forward. He tumbled over the flowers and trampled many of them under his heavy armor. Without missing a beat, he stood back up to his full height and with blazened Bomb facemask snarling said "Apology accepted, Captain Needa." He then pulled the trigger on his newly acquired glock and put the horse out of its misery.

Deadpool and Jupid had been waiting for this moment, Sokai didn't even have a daughter and if Akuroku wasn't stupid, he would have realized that before setting out himself.

With Captain Needa Horse dead, and the chain of command broken, Akuroku's men broke into disarray. Whooping and galloping out of sync, two of the men got impailed on their comrade's naginatas and another managed to stab himself with his own kama.

Before Akuroku could get out the words, "the Rebels are alerted to our presence. Admiral Ozzel came out of lightspeed too close to the system," all of his men were dead. After all, a tessen isn't much use against a .50 cal rifle being brandished by an airborne baby with impeccable aiming and severe intolerance for idiocy.

Drawing his samurai sword, and apparently stating his men's lesson had not been learned, took a .45 bullet to the face. Down he fell, the bullet ricocheting off his helmet, as he the wind was knocked out of him.

Deadpool strode over and peeked down at the grounded prince with Jupid fluttering over his shoulder. The two marksmen exchanged surprised glances, figuring the imbecile should have been dead from a shot like that.

"Just for once... let me... look on you with my own eyes," Akuroku struggled to speak.

Deadpool crouched down and removed Akuroku's mask. He quickly sucked back his teeth and made a disgusted face. "Oh god, it's hideous!" Deadpool returned the mask over Akuroku's face and then unloaded his remaining clip into the mask at point blank range without looking.

When the smoke cleared and the deafening gunfire ended, Deadpool and Jupid uncovered their eyes and were surprised to hear Akuroku's pained breathing from behind the mangled piece of scrap that was once an impressive piece of workmanship. Jupid shrugged.

"Damn." Deadpool threw his empty gun over his shoulder. "This guy's indestructible."

Meanwhile Hime having returned from Jupiter Meadows put her warhound down and retrieved the stick it had fetched from that tree. She then handed the stick, secretly a pooh stick over to an incognito Roo posing as a samurai. He then left to return the stick to the Fellowship of the Pooh.

* * *

The End?

A/N: This is the debut of my OCs Akuroku and Sokai. Please do not use without permission. Thanks.


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